Guest Author for Proverbs 31 Ministries!

Today, I have the amazing opportunity to be the guest author on Proverb 31 Ministry's Lynn Cowell's blog and YOU have the exciting opportunity to win a free copy of my book Putting Fairy Tales to Shame! 

Lynn loves helping women grow into wise moms so that they can grow wiser daughters. This post I wrote on Lynn's blog is geared toward moms -- so don't miss it! Learn how to unveil the definition of Real Love to your daughter! 

Ready? Go here to check it out!

Trades of Hope Styleboards

I made these styleboards for Trades of Hope, a company I co-founded that is creating sustainable businesses for families around the world! My favorite part about it all (in addition to our beautiful accessories!) is that everyone at Trades of Hope is showing Real Love to women around the world!

The Losing Win: Unmasking the Immature One

I really like listening to music written to bring God glory; however, my most favorite exception to "Christian music" are Paramore songs. Oh, they rock my world; and there's one particular line, after a bridge leading into the ending choruses, that sings, oh so profoundly, "why do we like to hurt so much?"

I hear those words and as I'm driving down the highway in a rush -- rushing, always rushing -- they catch me and bring me to a place of personal familiarity. I feel those words because I have, even if momentarily, been gratified by hurting someone else emotionally. I put them in their place, nodded at my job well done, to triumph over the matter at hand.

But the words that pierce and wound have a longevity stretching farther than the matter at hand. I wish I was the only one who did this. But we see the husband and wife who love each other on the inside speak loud, thoughtless words on the outside that quietly, thoughtfully hurt in the smallest places. Oh won't you tell me how can a man love a disrespectful woman? How can a woman possibly respect an unloving man? This is what my friends at Love & Respect call the Crazy Cycle.

But if she hurts him because she is already aching, and he hurts her because of his own pain, how will this cycle end?

The answer is our key to everything, the very song of salvation that our souls sing: sacrificial love. And, like Jesus, you know who is going to throw themselves in the fire as the sacrifice? The mature one. Emerson says it best when he says, "shaming or condemning your spouse for their immaturity is a reflection of your own maturity."

The immature one will use this post to try and change their spouse in order to be happy. The immature one isn't able to obey God's commands for the man to love and for the woman to respect. They will feel momentarily gratified by hurting, by "winning", by what was really their own losing. The immature one will sulk, complain, and groan about their own unhealth and sadness.

However, the mature one will read this in hopes to not change the spouse but change the current Crazy Cycle. They will obey their God. They will not enjoy hurting the other. They will not shame the other for being immature, nor will they say that they are "doing all these awesome things and loving" because they are "the mature one." The truly mature one will love and respect with a God-peace-filled, humble heart -- it is an art that doesn't come from caring about ones own needs, but caring about what the relationship needs to be happy and healthy. This maturity is only reaped from a soil that has been fulfilled by Jesus first.

Jesus is the reason why it's worth battling ourselves to be the mature one, why relationships are worth fighting for, why we know that it's never too late to discover and thrive in the real definition of love.

Learn more about the true definition of love in my book Putting Fairy Tales to Shame at www.ElisabethHuijskens.com

Putting Fairy Tales to Shame

I've been a lot quieter on here than I like the last year or so. I like blogging. But I've been working on a slightly bigger writing project this last year...

Drum roll, please!

Da da da daaaaa!

 

My book, Putting Fairy Tales to Shame, is now available for purchase!

I took my writing from cyber-space into print! If you've enjoyed my posts here for the last three years, you'll love this book published by Thomas Nelson's division, West Bow Press. In fact, a lot of this book consists of posts I originally scribbled here, but then expanded on.

Too many are walking around wounded and heartbroken because their view of what love is has been distorted. Learn how to have a relationship while making Jesus feel loved, how to heal and have a relationship free from baggage, and how to have an romantic relationship here with a love that puts fairy tales to shame.

You can go to www.elisabethhuijskens.com to learn more and buy!

Thank you so much to all of the people who have read my blog here through out the years. It all started here. You have blessed me.

No Love for Me, No Love for You

It's really hard to re-invent yourself.

For some reason, the notes sung off key are better remembered than those sung correctly.

And that causes a problem for Disciples who walk through the refining fire to be sanctified.

We see reality, truth, and other people through our own emotional lenses -- and that makes it very difficult to fulfill the call in 2 Corinthians, "regard no one according to the flesh".

Is the emotionally-wild girl, who quiets herself before her Lord to learn gentleness and self control, still an immature psycho? Even though her God-given emotions are being abused by her imprisoning flesh and destructive enemy, is she still a lost cause? Or is she not a woman for acknowledging her sin and willing to walk through the valley to change her heart?

How many days clean must an addict be before she has open arms extended to her? How many "I love you's" must the unfaithful whisper before a marriage is restored?

God knows the heart's yearning and progress and growth. He makes the creation new. He makes the old melt away.

I am at fault.
I have regarded some according to their flesh, because their flesh hurt me and they didn't deserve it to be over looked.

But "love in response to goodness isn't love, but simply a reward... and our relationship with God is not a matter of reward, but of love."

He re-invents me. And it doesn't take time, failures, and then more time with fewer failures for Him to see the newness. He knows me. He is the only one who sees me when I pray. He is the only one who feels my self-condemnation when I mess up. He is the only one who sees me for my soul and not my flesh.

After the bark-wood, the salty beads on His forehead, the inclined trudge, the weight, the pounding of nails -- somehow, to you, I am still regarded as the crazy girl. And you, well, I regard you as the one who hurts me. So, no love for me and no love for you.

But He doesn't see what we see. I am the creation of a fearful, wonderful woman. I am the creation of beauty, purposeful emotion, and fearlessness. (I didn't lose my humility. Humility is knowing who you are and feeling comfortable with it -- not denying your God-glorifying identity and gifts. Humility is always measuring yourself by the Infinite.) And you, you are priceless, to die for, made in strength, boldness; a masterpiece, an heir to the Heavenly realm.

I don't know if I know you. I don't know if you go to my church. I don't know if you are a man or woman. But I do know you have an infinite soul defined by God's love, acceptance, and the great value He placed on you.
And from here on, I will regard you in that way.

quote above from Steve Brown

It's Falling in Sheets and Sheets

It's 4pm and it's dark as night. I stand on the balcony, able to reach out and touch the sheet wall of rain. Instead, I stand and wonder how long it took me to notice the quickening of my heartbeat. It became evident, pulse-racingly evident, that I am alive. Fully alive.

A joy, a bliss, a pleasure sweeps me. Because You're standing here. And You, too, are very alive. You are as real and as tangible and as powerful as the breath-stealing thunder. Your love is here! I am here in Your love. Who am I to think that I could be skilled enough to escape Your love? Foolishness. It is falling right in front of my face, in sheets and sheets. I don't stretch out my hand to touch in pure reverence. I couldn't possible touch it, could I? Could I -- me? -- touch God's love? The electric pleasure in my pulse keeps me still. I am content, I am already overwhelmed!

It pours and rains and pours -- and it's for me. He is pouring out His love. He always has and does. I don't know why or how or for whom. I just know it's raining, and it's raining because He loves us. It's always because He loves.

Gentle Fearlessness

{I wrote this for a blog that I'm a writer for a few months ago. I felt called to put it here, too.}

I grew up most of my teenage life with acne blanketing my skin. As most have experienced or can at least imagine, this was a dictator of my self esteem for quite a while. You see, we’re told that this sinful world imprisons, and freedom is only obtained through a give from God. What we’re is not always explained is the sly and silent motion of that imprisoning process. Because of the make-up and Victoria Secret commercials, beauty became a box that one fits into with only a clear, stunning face.

I knew in my mind that our Creator only fabricates things of beauty and worth, but I searched for a way to know it in my heart. I wanted to harbor the truth of what made me beautiful in the eyes of God. I’m sure many of you have already had 1 Peter 3:3-5 come to mind. “Why didn’t she just read that verse and feel better?” That’s understandable, for it very clearly reads…

³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.

If you’re a sweet, gentle, quiet woman – you may have felt much comfort from this verse. However, if you’re like me, you’re sitting there thinking, “Great, now where’s the beauty verse for the loud, blunt women?” I spent years with these verses being something I paid attention to only half-heartedly, I finally decided I needed to go deeper. My heart is to share with you what Jesus has walked me through.

There are Three Pillars of Womanhood that I believe God is trying to paint for us. When we allow our essence to stand on those pillars, we are living out God’s original purpose for us, perfectly beautiful in His eyes.

1)      Hope – Holy women put all of their hope in the Lord. We are called to not rely on our husbands, finding a husband, our appearance, or our own strength. Most of the people that society are captivated by are those who have known struggle, known defeat, but have still found a way to be triumphant in battle. As women following Christ, that banner we raise as we walk to the front lines should be the truth and promises from Jesus Christ. Many times this needs to be a concentrated effort. Prayer, re-reading His Word, and being still in His presence are all beneficial when trying to lift that banner high. 

2)      Fearlessness – When we have hope rooted in the soil, fearlessness can then begin to grow within us. Proverbs 31:25 says this about a beautiful woman, “²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” This does not mean that she is under that impression that her life will lack hardships. She is not naive. In fact it implies that she aware in full that struggle is on the horizon; and yet all of her hope is deposited in Jesus, leaving her with nothing left to fear. Without fear entangling her in chains, she is free to go about her responsibilities, have confidence, and glorify God.

3)      Beauty – So often I thank Jesus for enjoying beauty. How much more lovely is it to serve someone who likes and creates beautiful things? I was humbled to realize that if He is the Creator of all we see, then beauty originates from who He is. He is beauty. He is light. He is art. He is color. We serve a God who makes everything of worth eternal. When He is passionate about something, He doesn’t hold back. He made our souls eternal, our relationship with Him eternal, and beauty eternal. Therefore, He adores beauty that won’t perish, more specifically, “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”. Oh how much more He cares about your heart than you outer appearance! (Praise God!) Here’s the good news for ladies like me! We don’t need to be quiet and flawless, but the workings of our heart, mind, and soul are to be at peace. Our stress and tendency to micromanage everything was created to be smoothed over with a gentle spirit. How is that spirit cultivated? Especially today with families, jobs, and confidence being eroded by this world? By putting our hope in the Lord, becoming fearless, and allowing that to shine through as our beauty. Make up and push up bras aren’t evil! But we give the enemy an upper hand when we allow those things to define our beauty. In reality, the airbrushed, magazine look is unattainable. However, we have a loving Savior who wants to unveil to us our strength, our beauty, and our specified function to reveal who He is to those around us.

Woman – who you are, and who I am – was the last thing He created when weaving this world together. He let His eyes meditate on all He had formed and said, “No, something is still missing. A different kind of strength than that of men, a fierceness, a peacefulness, a gentleness, a beauty is missing.” And then He fashioned something more beautiful than rolling hills, sunsets, and oceans – something to crown creation. That thing He created, was you.